111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (2023)

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (1)

Want to have a Happy New Year?

Share these funny New Year’s quotes and start the year laughing!

You’ll find:

  • New Year’s Eve quotes.
  • New Year’s resolutions quotes.
  • Funny New Year’s wishes to friends.
  • New Year’s letter board quotes to get a grin.
  • And more humorous quotes to kick off the new year.

They’re perfect for Instagram captions and engaging Facebook content fans love to share.

Or just text a friend!

Let’s dive in.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (2)

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Funny New Year’s Eve quotes

New Year’s Eve means parties, and kicking the old year to the curb.

Celebrate with these silly sayings and quotes. Beware, you may find some a bit rude!

Before I agree to 2022, I need to see some terms & conditions.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
~Bill Vaughan

I can’t wait to control-alt-delete 2021, and start anew.

Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
~William Shakespeare

New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. That’s why it’s the best holiday!

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (3)

Though I am wishing you a very happy New Year, remember you still have the same old louse of a spouse!

Good parties create a temporary youthfulness.
~Mason Cooley

Happy New Year! It is midnight already, and you are getting old – just go to sleep!

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
~W. C. Fields

Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.

If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone.
~Robert Fulghum

It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.
~Brad Paisley

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (4)

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.
~Barbara Walters

9pm is the new midnight.

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on.
~Hal Borland

New Year is a time to start afresh, to start things all over again, but you realize things are too complicated and you can’t start. Happy New Year!

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time.
~Jean Paul Richter

A sparkly new year to start fresh on old bad habits.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson

I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say, “I ordered this a year ago!”

Walking into 2022 like …

Just here for the champagne.

People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

It’s officially New Year’s Eve. You only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (5)

Funny New Year resolutions quotes

Though many people make a New Year’s resolution, less than 10% will achieve their resolution.

No worries though! People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t.

So make ‘em and break ‘em, but keep your sense of humor with these quotes and sayings.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
~Joey Adams

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
~Oscar Wilde

I would lose weight for my New Year’s resolution, but I hate losing.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
~F.M. Knowles

I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
~George William Curtis

Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Only 30 pounds to go.

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
~Mark Twain

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (6)

May you become smart enough to realize that resolutions don’t come true and wise enough to know that the difference between a new year and an old year is 1 minute past 12am.

My New Year’s resolution is to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
~Hunar Hali

The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions.

I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.

My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.

The only new year resolution most people should make is to make no more resolutions. People really suck at keeping up their resolutions!

May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early!

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (7)

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

This year, I resolve to make no mistakes. LOL!

New Year’s resolutions are made by those who are imperfect. I was born perfect!

I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never remember them.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away.

Cheers to another year of resolutions we won’t finish. Happy New Year!

If it takes me more than 2 days to break my resolutions, I’ve made too many.

Good luck with your new year’s resolutions.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (8)

Funny New Year wishes to friends

What’s a new year without old friends? Toast them with these crazy wishes!

To a New Year full of new possibilities, even though I’m sure we’ll just do the same old stuff anyway.

So excited for you guys to ruin another year of my life. Have a Happy New Year.

Have some faith in me, this year just like the previous ones – I will be your partner in crime.

What I hope for this New Year is to give love to my family, and good wishes to all my friends.

Wish you a kickass New Year!!!

Thanks for being my partner in crime all through the year. Here’s to a Happy New Year together.

I promise that this year too, I won’t let you do stupid things alone.

A good friend always asks about your new year’s resolutions. A great friend encourages you to make none.

Thank God I have another year to bother you with my annoying questions. Get ready to tolerate my annoyance!

Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did last year. May you give me another chance to do it again in the new year!

This is the year to annoy you, be prepared for it will not be easy for you. Anyway, try to have a happy New Year.

Finally, I have one more year to annoy you and freak the hell out of you. Be prepared to tolerate me. Anyways, happy new year friend!

Since you like snarky sayings, you might also like these paraprosdokians.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (9)

Funny New Year letter board quotes

Letter boards are so popular for fun and sassy sayings! Don’t let yours miss out on celebrating the new year.

And these are not just for letter signs! These short New Year’s quotes are also perfect to make picture quotes online. Or try these apps to add text to photos.

New year, same me.
Because I’m fabulous.

Page 1 of 365.

Let’s do this.

2022: Make me happy!

Our lives, our time, our year!

Cheers my dears!

Dear 2022, I’m ready for ya.

Pop. Fizz. Clink.

Bring on the bubbly.

Brace yourself.

Kiss Me At Midnight.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (10)

2022… I can hardly wait.

365 New Days.
365 New Chances.

2022, just be nice to everyone. K?

2022, please be more fun.

Dear New Year,
Please be nice.

Sip, Sip, Hooray!

Embrace the change!

2021 Survivor.

Repeating 2021?
Heck, NO!

Alexa, Skip to Spring.

New year, new me…
for like a week.

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (11)

Funny New Year quotes

Let the fun continue after New Year’s Eve. This group of quotes is perfect for sharing in the first days of January.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals? ~Ogden Nash

New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!

Each age has deemed the new-born year,
The fittest time for festal cheer.
~Walter Scott

May this upcoming year actually bring change in you – not just all your old habits wrapped in a new package.

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.
~Benjamin Franklin

If you didn’t have any regrets, then it wouldn’t be a New Year. Have a happy New Year!

All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!
~Edward Payson Powell

Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, Let me wish you a Happy New Year.

This bright new year is given me,
To live each day with zest,
To daily grow and try to be,
My highest and my best!
~William Arthur

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (12)

A New Year means you will be a little bit older but not any wiser than today! Alas!

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
~Charles Lamb

Don’t be so worried about what you eat between Christmas and New Year’s. Worry more about what you eat between New Year’s and Christmas.

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
~Oprah Winfrey

They say the New Year is a blank book, but I have writer’s block.

Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering ‘it will be happier’…
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson

It’s a new year, but with the same old problems.
Oh, well, at least we’re alive.
For now.

We will open the book called Opportunity, and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.
~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Happy New Year!
Spoiler alert – it’s going to feel the same.

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year, but rather that we should have a new soul.
~G.K. Chesterton

111 Funny News Year’s Quotes to Start the Year Laughing | LouiseM (13)

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language,
And next year’s words await another voice.
~T.S. Eliot

Happy New Year, now go to sleep.

I hope you start the New Year by leaving your old bad habits and acquiring new bad ones. Happy New Year!

I’m still the same person I was last year — now I’m just hungover.

This is a new year. A new beginning. Things will change.

Dear love, success, money, and happiness,
Please can we be good friends in 2022?

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
~Bill Vaughn

I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.


I hope you enjoyed these funny New Year’s quotes!

I’m building carefully curated collections for every occasion.

Don’t miss these January quotes for the rest of the month.

And 300+ January holidays to celebrate after New Year’s!

Find many more quotes collections at this list of the best quote sites.

Happy New Year!

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